Whew, took care of my taxes weeks ago like a good little citizen and I ain't mad at the breaks and the little $63 check I'll get back on a day when I least expect it and no doubt, welcome it. Eating's a good thing. But speaking of the man and tax time, the big O- (not Winfrey--more on her later)- and his wife made $3.5 million dollars last year?! When? How? In between stressing over the Tea Party or pushing for Health Care Reform? Or was he Tiger's secret attorney on a fat ass retainer? And is Michelle working? Is she the Green Grocer or some paid celeb stylist? Must be the insider investment pool. I need to in be in on that deal.
Now back to Madame O. So, bio author Kitty Kelly writes some unauthorized Oprah biography that no media outlet or talk show wants to have her on talking about details of the book for fear O will pimp slap them all- (she learned the move when she was a teen prostitute--allegedly). And her daddy that's been saying he's her daddy is not the father?! Show pitch--maybe Kitty can have Oprah's dads on Maury and she can appear as the disgruntled wife and possible step mama to O and plug the book that way. Or maybe Wendy Williams will have hr on. I don't even think she wants to suffer the wrath of O. Either way, that book is going to sell like hotcakes. My thing is this: have we not had enough bashing of Black celebs in the past year? Tiger, Kanye, Whitney, Tavis and Obama? Let's not forget Tiki and Danger and Usher and Stacy Dash and...Let's just move on. Let's bash Michael Steele and that kinky old bastard, Larry King...you effing stud, you! Divorce numero ocho. Who saw that one coming?
And speaking of Whitney--WTF? Sounding like a dying cat in a thunderstorm. Whoa--little Japanese cat is giving her a run for her money. Just a hot desperate mess. Let it go and retire with some dignity. Must have torn her vocal chords hollering for Bobby (who lost a little post-crack-fried-chicken-eating-binges weight on Celeb Fit Club)--because crack is wack, right?
And what's with those trifling Basketball Wives on VH1? More wifey than wife, hyphee than classy. Just a frickin' train wreck. And then we have Chilli and the list and the requirements. Grow up, ditch the list, quit looking for something you aren't: educated, self-assured and doing big things. You attract what you are and reject what you know you can't handle (unless they're just some icky stalker with a big gut and butt and no teeth like that cat who...I digress). She needs to go on Tough Love and get schooled, then try her show again. Or just get a dog, it's easier.
Time for more mindless boob tube watching. Back to whining later.
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